I'm not sure what has happened, but as of last week crawling has gotten quite a bit easier. :-) I finally passed the 50 hour mark. Maybe that's what was needed, to cross the 50 hour line. Two more sessions of 50 hours and I'll be at 150!
Crawling Just Got Easier
Hand Changes During Crawling
While crawling last night I noticed something different. My hands, particularly the left one, were lying flatter on the ground than they ever have before. In the past my hands have been a little cupped, with some space underneath the palms - not a lot, but definitely a little bit. This time it was different. My left hand lay completely flat on the floor during creeping, and my right hand is almost completely flat.
It reminded me of when I first felt my feet really grasp the ground. I felt like I had monkey feet. All around the edges of the soles, heels, and toes grasped the floor (and still do). I felt much more grounded when this occurred. I can't say I feel more grounded when crawling, but I did notice a change, and it's the second real change I've noticed (after the hips feeling looser). I don't know if there are crawling stages like there are creeping stages, but if so, I'm hoping the looser hips and flattened out hands are considered part of an advanced stage.
My brain doesn't seem any different from what I've previously mentioned. I haven't had any major epiphanies lately, but I'm looking forward to noticing more changes as I move along.
Disbelief and Criticism
It frustrates me when people don't understand. It frustrates me even more when people balk at methods that I know are working for me. Just because some people do not have the same problems with their brain that I do, doesn't have to mean that the difficulties aren't real. Many people don't have difficulty waking in the mornings, or falling asleep at night, waking up throughout the night, having racing thoughts that WON'T stop. Many don't have problems organizing information in their heads nor do they have difficulty accessing the big picture... the ultra abstract. I have these issues, and I've had them my entire life. I guess I just wish people would listen more attentively and not be so damn critical of others' approaches to helping themselves, especially since what I'm doing cannot possibly harm me in any way.
Creeping and crawling are simply body movements, like exercise, except they have the added benefit of reorganizing the brain somehow. I don't know how it works, but I believe in it. I'm sure yoga, if performed consistently, also helps to organize the brain. I have no doubt it helps, but I believe these particular patterned movements I learned in Brain Highways ensure a level of organization that perhaps other methods (thus far known) cannot do.
Breaks Are Good
I'm glad I took a break from creeping and crawling. Coming back to it, I have a new awareness of my body and joints. For instance, I'm noticing that my hip joints are looser than they have been in the past. Not sure I would have recognized the change without the break.
My brain seems to be functioning better too. I am processing more deeply and more often, thus the obsessive thinking is lessening. I'm also connecting the dots at more abstract levels. I can't think of a good, yet brief example of this yet, but one will come to me I'm sure. When it does, I'll try to remember to share it.